you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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