Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
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