I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The air was thick with penises
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
