Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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