i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
