Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
