what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
