kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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