problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
