She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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