Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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