I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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