im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
