I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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