ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
