i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
