I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
