Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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