so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
