Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I could make wine with my vomit
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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