is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize