i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
