I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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