the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
