Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
