I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
