he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
