just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Randomize
