she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
