I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
