My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
