Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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