just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
