You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
