Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
