I wanna bring you to show and tell
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
