Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
pray to the hookup gods
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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