She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
