If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
