My Higher Power is John Stamos
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it was like eating out sand paper
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
