We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
