Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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