lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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