I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
