Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
