He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
