Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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