who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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