Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
