That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
