Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All the doctor said was why
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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